If you’re just drowning in to-do list items, is it possible that your to do list is driving your to be list?
Hear me out… Let me know if this sounds familiar…
You hear about a new book, and you instantly download it onto your audible, or order it from amazon?
You see a new summit come out and you instantly sign up for it, even though you have about 3 other things already happening at the same time… your inbox is overflowing with subscriptions to a million mailing lists, but if you sign up to just this one more, you’ll crack the code of what’s missing in your life…
Then there’s the news, the podcasts, the social media, the friends, the colleagues, the keeping up with whoever…
We have a serious case of information overload – or consumption-itis, as I like to call it – combined with and compare and despair that’s happening right now…
Let’s not even get into the fact that some of the messages from these multiple sources are so conflicting…
- Meditate for 20 minutes a day
- Do you choose Chinese medicine, Acupuncture, Buddha?
- Should you heal your trauma, is a keto diet going to help your energy, what about the latest recommendations from influencers or your therapist / doctor???
Believe me I know how noisy it is out there, and how noisy it can get inside your brain.
One thing I know for sure is that you can’t step into BEING if you are always DOING…
So with that in mind, what is the result that you want to create in your life today?
A successful career and wealth are supposed to make us happy… but very often we get to a place of achieving those things and we’re left wanting. We’re left empty. Maybe what you really want is more energy, so you can spring out of bed and get things done… and with that energy you have freedom?
Or is all you really want is to be happy and at peace with your life?
Think of the emotion that you really want to experience… and take a few minutes to write it down, and make a mini mind map working backwards.
Set a timer on for 2 minutes so you can plot it out…
And remember that you can’t really get to the Happiness, the Freedom and the Peace without ensuring that your body is working… because your body is the vehicle to take you where you want to go!
When you get information / data, and then you act on it, you experience the results you desire! Write this down: Information plus implementation equals transformation.
What does that mean?
Well, information plus action equals results and that’s what I think we’re all seeking.
How do you achieve the transformation? Often people think that this is about will power. I’m going to set the record straight though, and say that this is about VALUE.
If you value your energy, your body, your time, then NOTHING is going to get in the way of your commitment to yourself. And as women, we struggle with boundaries, with saying no to our bosses, to our partners, to our friends… because we seek approval… although I have to say that my forties have been oddly liberating!
I know, I know. That sounds super idealistic… I can you hear you saying,
- Well you don’t know what it’s like…
- I need my boss’s approval…
- I don’t have time to invest in cooking from scratch…
- I have a wedding to plan for,
- I have a house to buy…
I’ve heard it all. Ultimately people place value on things:
- the latest designer bag or skin care line
- the weekly mani-pedis and facials
- the daily $6 coffee from their favorite coffee shop
- the newest phone / tablet
- the roof on their house…
All important… all tangible… but the thought of investing time and money into investigative work that will benefit them for a lifetime requires a shift in mindset.
They’ve got to value the intangible just as much, if not more than, the tangible… because let’s face it… you wouldn’t leave your car in a state of disrepair… So why would you ignore the signs that your body is giving you? Ultimately the parts of the car can be replaced… A body on the other hand… not so much!
That’s why I say that you can’t solve a problem with the same mindset that got you into it. So often we get stuck in a mindset that there are only two options available to us, and that is, to get out of feeling a certain way, we need to work harder, i.e. Do more. A classic example of this is therapy…
I support short-term use of therapy, but let me explain the difference between Therapy and Coaching. Having been in both myself personally and professionally, the one thing I can say is that therapy can sometimes reinforce your old identity and dysfunction.
Often, your therapist will keep you there as long as you keep showing up and you can remain in a pattern of picking at old wounds and traumas, which in my experience doesn’t leave you feeling very good, and can in fact cripple you from moving forward.
So my question to you is:
Do you need to keep revisiting the wound in order to heal it? i.e. do you need to spend years doing this? Or is there a way to get to where you want to be faster, and easier.
The answer is YES… A coaching approach can help you BE more of how you want to show up in your life… without doing more and spending more time and money!
The Dalai Lama said that Man sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
When you don’t know the path toward wholeness, and you’re conditioned to believe that talk therapy and medications are the only solutions, this can be true. You can get stuck in a never-ending cycle of focusing on symptoms…
It might seem obvious that burnout is a direct result of putting out as many fires as possible in your life, often at the same time, what you in fact need to be doing is starting fires… but what I’m talking about is about starting the RIGHT fires.
Consider this.
What if you’re burnt out, not because of your health, or because you need more rest, or you need more money. What if it’s because you spend every day not doing ENOUGH of what you’re passionate about?
So here’s an example of what your typical Type A woman says she values.
She values family, wants to be a good mother, she values fitness – she’s intellectually aware of what her values are. But the reality of how she actually spends her time is very different. She’s pulled in multiple directions. She’s distracted by her phone. She’s barely allocating any scheduled time for her own needs.
I see a lot of women like this… They don’t even know what lights them up anymore… because they’ve been so busy ignoring their heart for so long.
So I’m going to show you an exercise to help you tune in to what your soul needs most right now, so that way you can fill up your cup, and be able to give to all the different areas of your life.
Step 1. Grab a journal or notebook and write down… “I’m only available for people, places and experiences that set my soul on fire.”
Step 2. Take a look at that. Notice how it makes you feel. Maybe give yourself a score from 0 – 10, where 10 is as happy / calm as you can be, and 0 is the opposite.
Step 3. Then I want you to close your eyes and say it out loud 3 times:
- “I’m only available for people, places and experiences that set my soul on fire.”
- “I’m only available for people, places and experiences that set my soul on fire.”
- “I’m only available for people, places and experiences that set my soul on fire.”
Step 4. Now stop. Take a deep breath in, hold it for a few seconds. Feel those words permeating each and every one of your cells, pouring into them, rejuvenating them. Then release…
Step 5. Set a timer on your phone for 5 minutes and reflect in your notebook:
- How do you feel right now in this moment? What is your score now?
- Who do you want to be?
- Who do you want in your life?
- What are each of your senses experiencing in this moment?
This simple exercise can help you reconnect with who you are and what it is you want to create in your life, if you find yourself out of balance. There is more that you can do to reset your nervous system. I actually share this in a 10 minute guided breathwork visualization that I usually reserve for those working in my more intensive programs.
However, you’re welcome to download it here.
I’d welcome your feedback on how it made you feel, so feel free to drop me a message and let me know.